Yes, but no...

Mexican “yes”, chicharito & chiles en nogada

Author

Rocio L
July 31, 2025

!Holii! 👋🏽

Today we’re tackling one of Mexico’s great mysteries: when someone says “yes,” do they really mean yes? My guest contributor Debbie Vorachen—Dutch anthropologist, cultural writer, and 10+ year Mexico veteran—breaks it down in “How to Interpret a ‘Yes’ in Mexico – Four Tips on How to Handle It.” She’s witty, she’s wise, and her book What the Mexpat (Special Edition) will have you laughing, nodding, and saying “OMG, same.”

Also, my tianguis stroll this week confirmed the best news: pomegranates are everywhere, which means chile en nogada season has officially arrived. Time to feast.

If you love CDMX IYKYK, find it helpful, or just appreciate someone doing the cultural decoding (and meme-worthy curating) for you, consider sending me a $5 coffee or two. This is pure love work, and your support keeps it running—and caffeinated.

Ready?

– Rocio
Founder, Life of Leisure 
Writer, Mexico News Daily 

GUEST STORY

Yes, no, maybe so?

How to Interpret a “Yes” in Mexico – Four Tips on How to Handle It

If you’ve lived in or visited Mexico, you may know what it is like to invite someone for coffee and hear an enthusiastic sí – and then no one shows up. Or to ask if they are ready to go and receive ahorita, and to wait… and wait. This, dear readers, is a cultural tendency to avoid the word “no” whenever possible. In this newsletter we talk about the reason behind the avoidance of this word in Mexican society, how you can recognize and interpret its alternatives, and how you can check if you (mis)understood.

Why “no” is avoided in the first place

Communication in Mexico is based on politeness, emotional sensitivity, and harmony. This implicitly means being indirect at times, because saying no outright may be potentially hurtful.  Ambiguous or vague language is preferred instead, which gives the listener a chance to decline without offending anyone involved. This can be very difficult to understand when you just arrived from a culture that is more direct. The good thing is that there are some words and phrases that indicate that people are actually saying no, even if the word does not implicitly leave their mouth.

Phrases or words that may mean “no” – and how to interpret them

Keep in mind that these responses are about maintaining face and honor – both of the speaker and the listener. 

  • A lo mejor sí – means “maybe yes,” and in such, most certainly no.

  • Déjame checar / ver – means “let me check/see.” Usually leads to nothing.

  • Estamos en contacto – means “we will be in touch,” a gentle way to close a conversation, without making promises. 

  • Igual / tal vez – means “maybe.” 

Courtesy is valued in Mexican culture. It’s nice when people are polite, but it can also be frustrating when you are not used to indirectness in communication. Remember that they’re not trying to confuse you. They’re trying to protect the relationship, preserve good vibes, and avoid confrontation. Here are four tips on how to handle it and double check if you misunderstood the sí for an actual “yes.”

  1. Ask twice – but differently
    If someone says “yes,” gently follow up with Perfecto. ¿A qué hora sería? If they dodge again? That’s your answer.

  2. Offer and easy out
    Say something like: Si no se puede, no hay problema – means “If it’s not possible, that’s okay. This gives them the option to say no without feeling rude.

  3. Confirm in writing
    If someone says “yes,” follow up with a message. 

  4. Find you “honest” local friend

Every foreigner needs a very honest Mexican friend who tells it like it is. No guessing there!

And one day, you’ll look back and laugh about how you waited two months for a plumber who enthusiastically said “yes” and was very polite, but never showed up. You’ll eventually get the hang of the “maybe,” the “let me check,” and the “sure, sure” that actually means nope.

Written by: Debbie Vorachen

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FEATURED EVENT

Final Call: Nourish & Restore 🧖🏽‍♀️
A women’s cacao + skincare workshop in Juarez this Sunday.
CDMX summer got your nervous system (and skin) feeling off? Come reset with us — we’ll sip cacao, mask up, and reconnect.

🗓️ Sunday, Aug 3 | 1–3PM
🎟️ Few spots left

CULTURE & HAPPENINGS
DID YOU KNOW?

Even if you have Mexican residency, spending too much time away could raise eyebrows. Permanent residents can technically stay abroad indefinitely, and temporary residents can leave for months at a time—but authorities may question your status if it seems like you’ve abandoned life in Mexico. A quick visit now and then can help keep your residency safe.

VIRAL VAULT

Why CDMX IYKYK?
Because staying in the know shouldn’t require 12 tabs, 5 group chats, and a rabbit hole of IG accounts. I created this newsletter to help fellow expats, digital nomads, and the Mexican diaspora feel more connected to life in Mexico—not just the highlights, but the context behind them too.

As someone who spent her childhood in Mexico and came of age across borders, I bring cultural insight that goes beyond translation. This isn’t just curated info; it’s grounded in lived experience, curiosity, and cariño for the motherland.

Whether you’re in Mexico City for a few months or forever, I hope this space helps you navigate, appreciate, and engage more deeply with the city we’re lucky to call home.

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